One Word
In 2019, my one word for the year was Redeem. Redeem as in: gain or regain possession of, to recover, reclaim, buy back, get back.
I chose it after listening to a message at Hillsong NYC, where the phrase “the blessing of your year will be determined by the stewardship of your days” stuck with me. I walked away with a swell of anticipation and was tempted to choose the word “steward,” but the word “redeem” kept tossing around inside me and I wrote the word on a restaurant napkin a few hours later.
I anticipated something special and I secretly held an idea of how the word might come to pass in my life.
God went above and beyond. He redeemed the deepest parts of me. He redeemed the person He created me to be. He broke open a fresh spring of compassionate, loving, forgiving and faithful relationship.
The word kept my attention all year and became my lens to stay focused and moving in the Sprit’s direction, always asking whether my thoughts and words and actions were consistent with Redeeming, Regaining, Recovering and Reclaiming.
On one hand, the need to Redeem, Recover, and Reclaim is merely a function of 53 years in this dust and mud-world, but there was more. I longed to redeem a childhood wonder, trust and sensitivity to God and others that I uniquely possessed.
A certain uprootedness made it’s way into the corners of my heart. Rather than searching for something new and shiny, I needed to recover the old, old song of my heart.
The derailing of God's intended purpose and soul rest was introduced in one very specific event a few years ago and was nurtured one small thought at a time. As so often happens, the ending of a precious relationship left a mark of rejection on me.
Rejection is a funny thing to manage. It sits on you after you get up and walk away.
It moves from sitting on you to sitting with you to sitting in you.
It touched everything. It seemed to be the inner refrain of every conversation I had.
Rather than my word for 2019 providing a way out, it offered a way through. The way through came by returning to myself. The work of redeem/recover/restore came through the hard work of grief, of releasing, of wrestling with God and of letting go. My secretly held idea was for the broken relationship to be miraculously restored, but God had more in mind.
Instead of obsessively remembering the rejection with the same rehearsed language, I was free to end the loop by introducing new words. Redemptive language from a redeemed heart: “This is what I learned from the ending of this relationship. I am enriched from it. It was a beautiful, valuable and painful experience. I am immensely grateful. Like Paul, I was ‘changed from one degree of glory to the next’ and God used it to improve and refine my character.”
2019 became a year of surveying life and taking inventory. A year of walking through unchartered roads, of letting go and in the process, reclaiming more than I could have asked for or imagined.
2020 is here.
It took me a few days to find my word for 2020, but it’s the next chapter to the work of 2019.
vig·i·lant
/ˈvijələnt/
Vigilant, as in watchful, wide awake, alert. Being on the lookout. Intense, unremitting watchfulness.
Keep watch, stay awake, from vigil awake.
Keen, circumspect, attentive, alert, sharp.
Someone who keeps awake and alert in order to avoid danger or problems. “When taking the subway, be vigilant about your wallet — always know where it is, or someone might steal it from you.”
The only area of my life where I could be described as vigilant, and I daresay ‘hyper-vigilant’ would be the better term, would be my driving style. When I’m behind the wheel, it is no joke. My hands are firmly planted on 10 and 2. My eyes are everywhere. Every. Where. I drive a comfortable 5 miles per hour under the speed limit to keep it extra safe. I leave a car’s length for every 10 miles per hour between me and the car in front of me. There is no swerving or distractedness. I am steely. Intense. Vigilant.
Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. Proverbs 4:23 NLT
My word for 2020 is vigilant. As in, be watchful, wide awake, alert. As in, be on the lookout for small things to take root in your mind and heart. As in, be on the lookout for destructive thoughts. Be watchful for the Spirit’s move. Keep watch. Stay awake.
With all my heart, be encouraged. Each of us is at a different landmark in our journey. If you choose a word, let my story invite your word to move you in the right direction so that you can see God working beautifully, mightily, and redemptively in your life.